If only you knew…

… and surprise! an update… 1:20am, October 2, 2006… emotional state, may as well take advantanage and update..

ssooooo… i’m turning 15 on sunday, which is October the 8th… how time flies. 15 years… wow… i’m getting old.. my age is finally catching up to me, hahahaha! When I was like 12 and 13, people used to think i was already like, 18 or something… Now i think they’ll hit it closer to the mark when i ask random people how old they think i am. >.<

So in my soon to be 15 years, i’ve learned a lot about life, sadly some things too soon, but thankfully my parents raised me in a way so i was able to compehend those things overtime, no matter how hard, how hurtful, or how mind-blowing as they came.

God’s given me a lot of curveballs, but he’ll never give you curveballs you can’t handle, always remember that. God will never give you a problem you won’t be able to overcome, no matter how impossible it may seem. With God, anything is possible.

Seeeeee, i told you i have a deep religious side.. hahaha! one i’m afraid i’ve neglected one, two many times… i don’t know, i feel like i’ve not done enough..

15… i can honestly say my childhood was pretty sheltered..  my only social life was  in church.. back then i was also homeschooled, but then everything was done completely at home, down to the lessons and exams. so basically i was raised in chuch.

life so far has been a twisted rollercoaster with its loops and turns. i’ve made mistakes and learned from them. all things happen for a reason, whether they be good or bad. Dad calls them "Blessings in Disguise". A good story always needs its conflict to make it interesting, otherwise it would be dead boring. Something bad needs to happen so the good thing needs to happen, right? yes of course right. after all that, the happy, fairy tale ending is just over the rainbow…

…and mine’s still like a billion miles away.

at 15, i’m still starting my journey. "real life", it hasn’t really started yet.. i’m still pretty much in the preparation stage.

There are sometimes i wish i went back to my childhood, it feels like i missed so much of it somehow. it’s hard to compensate for all of that.. but hey, i’m still a child at heart.. everybody still has that kid inside of them as they grow older, it just gets locked up. But sometimes, it’s freed, how? Visit Disneyland.. hahaha!! Seriously.. =DDD

enjoy life, live it to the fullest. treasure everyone and everything you hold dear, because in the blink of an eye, you’d find that they all could disappear. believe me, i speak from expirience. a life can be taken so suddenly and seemingly unfairly, which in most cases probably is.

Solitude… something i enjoy immensely at times. when you’re alone, no one can hurt you.. you won’t let anyone close enough to even try. like there’s an unpenetrable barrier no one can get by. but there are times when i crave to be around loved ones, so relax, i’m not that unreachable. hehehe! there used to be times when i’d have problems, and it felt like there was no one around to help me, no one i’d trust enough to tell, or rather that i’d trust myself to let anyone know. i’d feel so alone and neglected, depressed…  now, a few select people i’d pour out my feelings to, and I thank God that they came into my life.

So wait, that’s pretty much 14-ish years, yea? I’ve barely even started my 15th, not for another 6 days.. haha just a clarification..

hmmm… more about my life ramblings another day.. i still wanna tackle some family and loves issues.. hehe! maybe another post on my birthday?… don’t forget my present! hahaha! God Bless!!!

<333milcah

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